I had a big disappointment on Friday. I'd had a really good interview for a new job on Thursday - a job I'd love, and one I know I can do. The director who interviewed me seemed as enthusiastic about my abilities as I was about the job, and promised I would have a decision the following day.
So, on Friday I called the agency and they'd just got off the 'phone with the director. He had told them I was by far and away the best person for the job BUT ... they needed someone to start as soon as possible, and as I had to give a month's notice at my current job, they had decided to go with their second choice.
While it was nice to hear all the good things he said about me, that doesn't really help me in my current situation, which is, a job I hate, at a salary I can't live on, with people who treat me like a trained monkey most of the time.
So it's been hard to pick myself up from that disappointment and I'm still upset, but I need to have a little faith. The fact I didn't get this job must mean that something better is out there.
On the positive side, this didn't push me to drinking. Once upon a time, not so very long ago, it would have been the perfect excuse for me to down a bottle of rum or vodka and cry all night about how unfair it all was. Yes, it does seem unfair, but drinking wouldn't have made it any better: it would simply have added disgust at myself to the disappointment in not getting the job.
Another positive thing is that I received my copy of Alcoholics Anonymous during the week. I'd ordered it on line and last night I took it and it opened at a particular page (it was a 2nd-hand copy) which must have been of some significance to its previous owner. I read the first few paragraphs and then went to bed. Today, when I logged on, I went straight to a particular blog that I read every day, and the very passage that I had read was quoted there. I feel as if there are two gentle hands on my shoulders, turning me to face the direction I need to go, and I must have a little faith, and keep facing forward.
And the best thing of all? It has now been 29 days since my last drink, and it feels good. It feels very good.