I've spent 4 hours writing a post ... and I've just reviewed it and realised it is nothing more than self-pitying drunken rambling so I've deleted it. I have good, anonymous, friends who read these posts and reply to me privately, and I have amazingly courageous people who are not afraid to show themselves by posting ... I admire you
I am still scared, I am still holding off from that final admission ... I just can't stand up right now and say, 'My name is ***** and I'm an alcoholic. But, deep in my heart, I know I am.