Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Always reliable

Drink is always reliable. It doesn't care if you're good or bad, it treats you the same every time. It's that reliability that makes it dangerous. When life lets you down, the bottle is always there. It can't solve your problems, but it can help you forget, or at least ignore, them for a while.

I have had a pig of a day. It appears that I must take shovel loads of shit heaped upon me and not retaliate. When I do show any personality at all I get a metaphorical slap. Today I reached the end of my tether and actually told one of my managers that I was looking for another job because I was so fed up of being treated like a school leaver with no experience. Actually, I don't know of any school leavers with no experience who are treated like that, nor any who would put up with being treated the way I am. But in my job, I have to put up and shut up. The manager was not really interested, and certainly didn't accept any responsibility for her part in it.

A friend took me out for a drink at lunch-time. I'd managed to stop crying by then. I spent all afternoon sorting out personal things, ignoring what little work they see fit to trust me with (which doesn't have to be done for 10 days) but I'm home now. Just me and a bottle that I'm trying hard to ignore. A bottle that will help me ignore, for a little while, what a shit job I have, and what shit people I work with.

I'm not even counting units tonight, just trying to bear in mind that I still have to go to work tomorrow ...

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