I got up today feeling thoroughly ashamed of myself and decided to delete last night's blog entry. I didn't want anyone to know how stupid I'd been after my smug assertions that I could control my desire for alcohol.
But how could I delete my entry when it had prompted such kind words of support and encouragement?
I still feel ashamed of myself, although maybe I shouldn't. All I did was lose a fight I was never destined to win.
So it's back to square one for me and that feels like the right place to be.
Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate it.
4 comments:
Oh, the amazing recouperative powers of the human ego!
I don't actually feel that I have a great deal of ego at the moment.
How are you doing Linda?
Hey, how are you doing? I'm a newbie too. I read sobriety blogs for about two years, before I finally got sober. I couldn't figure out why going to AA meetings was so important. Couldn't I read the Big Book and sobriety blogs and get this AA thing? I had a lot of issues and fears about what I thought AA was like.
But last weekend, just a couple of weeks after my first AA meeting, I was sitting in someone's living room studying the Big Book with my sponsor and another of her sponsees (my "AA sister", she calls her) my sponsor's sponsor, and my "sponsor grandmother" (my sponsor's, sponsor's sponsor). This was after we had all gone to a 7:30am meeting. I know it sounds crazy and overwhelming! Just a couple of weeks ago I was in a bad place with my drinking and I could not imagine in my wildest dreams that I would be sober, enjoying it, and a part of such a wonderful fellowship. Give AA a try, what do you have to lose?
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