Has it been 3 weeks?

... Looks like it ... looks like it's been 3 weeks since my last post. Actually, it might be more, or it might be my cycle going haywire. Last time I had a binge and posted my whining poor me entry was the day I got my period. (Sorry any men logging in - we ladies have a monthly excuse! And if you don't believe it, imagine someone jumping up and down on your balls and NOT STOPPING FOR 7 DAYS!)

So yes, it's THAT TIME, and I'm sober. I wasn't expecting my period on Monday so I just carried on my life but by today (the Eve Of Doom) I was thinking, well, I must have a drink because tomorrow is the day I should have been getting my period. So, let's look at this.

When my period is due I start planning to drink to alleviate the a) physical pain and b) the emotional upheaval.

When I don't realise I'm getting my period I carry on as (sober) normal.

Once upon a time (35 years ago) when I first started my periods, the only solutions were a hot water bottle applied to the belly (not very useful if you had to go anywhere) or a heap of pain-killers (not very helpful if you had to concentrate on anything like school or exams) or a stiff upper lip until you could go somewhere and lie on a bed and drink loads of vodka to kill the pain.

Somewhere in that scenario I plucked out the words VODKA and KILL PAIN.

As a grown up I know now that vodka is not as an effective painkiller as paracetemol or even yoga exercises. But the bottle is still a strong pull at this phase of the moon.

So this period I am doing yoga exercises and drinking water.

It may not help my womb, but it's helping my liver ...

Back on track

Taking one day at a time, working hard, keeping busy, making time for the things I enjoy and taking care of myself, thanking God for each sober day and asking Him for help for tomorrow: it's working. I haven't had a drink since my binge about 10 days ago, and I don't intend to have another. I know I can't have just one drink, enjoy it and put the bottle away. It's depressing to think I can never have a drink again and I don't know if I can commit to that, but I know I don't have to. I just have to commit to staying sober today. I can do that.