I don't want to stop drinking altogether. The thought of never having another glass of wine with friends, a tall, cool, Bacardi and diet coke on a hot summer's day, or even a glass of champagne to celebrate a special event, is not one I can contemplate at the moment. Being the only totally sober one amongst friends on a night out when it's my turn to drive is hard enough without it being the rule, rather than the exception.
But I do have to cut down. Yesterday a colleague helped me put a heavy parcel in the boot of my car. He spotted the bottles I had in there ready to go to the bottle bank and said, 'Christ, that must have been a hell of a party!' As he drinks a lot himself, I just laughed and said, 'No, just my last month's empties!' It was the truth (if not the whole truth; another bag of empties was still in the garage) and he looked at me with new respect. 'And I thought I was a rum-head!' he said, impressed.
The box in the boot contained 5 empty litre Bacardi bottles, an empty Morgan's Spiced Rum bottle, and a couple of empty wine bottles. That's what I've had to drink at home since 25 July. That's not including drinks I've had out, drinks at friends' houses, and the empties in the garage. The contents of the boot add up to about 230 units of alcohol. Over 5 weeks that works out at 46 units a week. That's a little bit more than the recommended weekly amount for two women, let alone one.
So, I have to cut down. I resent having to cut down, but the alternative of cutting it out completely isn't great either. I'm an intelligent woman. I know the health risks. I know that with the family history of high blood pressure and heart disease I'm pushing the boundaries with the amount I drink but that's never been enough to stop me before. I guess I don't particularly want to grow old. I've always thought I'd die young but maybe I should concentrate on enjoying life - however much left I have - rather than calculating how long it will be until my next drink.
Having said that, my next drink will be in about 7 hours' time ... Let's see if I can make it just the one, shall we?